so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
