Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
