Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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