Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
