She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
