Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
