Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize