VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
