No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
