I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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