And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
