i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
