And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize