I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
