he puts the penis in happiness.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
