I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
