i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Randomize
