You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize