We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize