Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
