He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
