Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
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