So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
