Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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