Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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