I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
