Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
