I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize