I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
