Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
