i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
