She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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