I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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