Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
