So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
