I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
