we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
