how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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