I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
