would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
do herpes really smell.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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