How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize