And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
