maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Randomize
