This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
