dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize