guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize