I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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