Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
