When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
