hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
