We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
