i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
