Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
