I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
