I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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