in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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