you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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