The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The struggles of a small town man whore
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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