Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
