you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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