dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
