i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
