We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
