For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
