I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
