Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
