If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have aggressive nipples.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
