My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
