I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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