why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize