Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
